Day 3: Eliminating Toxic Self-Talk

Congrats for making it to Day 3 of the Self-Esteem Challenge!

It may seem like a minor accomplishment, but the truth is that most people rarely put such emphasis on improving themselves. 

Today we’re going to be talking a bit about eliminating toxic negative self-talk. This is incredibly important.

As much as we’d all like to be perfect meditators and live in a state of no-mind all the time, for the vast majority of us it’s not a reality (right now at least). That’s why eliminating negative self-talk is such an important way to improve your self-esteem and goes hand-in-hand with a daily meditation practice.

Fact: Our internal dialogue plays a key role in regulating our self-perception. Subtle shifts in our language we use can change how we feel about ourselves.

Many people have their self-esteem sabotaged by unhealthy and negative self-talk.

You, too, may have a soundtrack of negativity running through your mind throughout the day.

I should be better. I shouldn’t have done that. No one likes me. I suck at my job. I’m never going to be happy.

This toxic dialogue sucks you down and puts you right under a dark cloud. It kills your self-esteem, distorts your worldview and causes you to dislike yourself.

But here’s the thing.

IT’S ALL LIES! Really, none of it is true!

And it really, really, needs to change. If you want to cultivate your self-esteem, your negative self-talk needs to DIE!

There are two ways to do that:

  1. Maintain a consistent meditation practice until your Default Mode Network (DMN) is rewired and you are naturally free of self-talk.
  2. Replace the negative self-talk with positive self-talk.

We’re going to focus on number 2!

Today, I want you to pay close attention to the self-talk that goes on in your head. You may even want to keep a journal of sorts, making notes about the conversations running through your mind.

Every time you become aware of negative self-talk, stop and write down the negative thoughts in your journal. Don’t be vague. Write down EXACTLY what’s going through your mind. If you forget your journal, write it in your phone, so you can put it down on paper later.

Then – and this is crucial – replace the negative self-talk with one of the affirmations from yesterday’s challenge.

I’m not as focused as everyone else.

I am focused, present, and engaged in my life. 

I’ll never be able to do this.

I can achieve anything I put my mind to. 

I’m just lazy and unmotivated.

I have immediate access to unlimited energy and motivation. 

Write these new affirmations on a piece of paper and say them out loud five times. Your goal for the day is to have FIVE TIMES more positive self-talk than negative.

As you do this, you’ll be amazed – actually no, you’ll be SHOCKED, at the impact it has on your day.

Remember to keep that log of your self-talk today!

Good luck!

Ben

P.S. Tomorrow we’ll be continuing with the theme of how we talk to ourselves – however, we’ll be honing in on a subtle but toxic habit that almost every single one of us has: complaining. It’s tricky because it can seem legitimate in the moment, and it definitely feels good to do, but it’s time to get rid of it.

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