Day 9: Dissolving Boundaries

Whoa, we’re almost at the end of the challenge! If you’ve made it this far, I want you to take a second to celebrate. It might feel a bit silly, but you’ve put consistent effort into helping yourself, and it’s something to be proud of. 

I hope you had time to practice the inner smile yesterday. How did it go? It’s a great exercise and something you can do every day. 

Today’s topic is a little different because we’re not going to be focused on you – and this is for good reason.

We’re going to be focused on others.

A huge reason people suffer from stress, anxiety, and issues with self-confidence, is because in the modern world the barriers between individual and others are so strong.

We interact with the world through the perspective of ‘me, me, me’ – and we don’t take enough time to share in each other peoples successes and failures. And when you’re only worrying about yourself, that’s a lot of pressure! For you do succeed is tough, and for you to succeed in multiple areas of your life – at the same time – it’s nearly impossible. 

However, when we place more of our attention towards the wellbeing of others, we naturally become less ‘self-centred,’ and we spend far less time ruminating on our own problems.

But there’s an important point here, your concern for their wellbeing has to be unconditional.

When we do things for other people to try and look good or for a reward, then the relationship becomes transactional and we’re still looking at things from the perspective of our ego!

So onto today’s exercise.

 

The challenge today is very simple, but potentially the most useful habit of all of these exercises.

Today I want you to send three messages; texts, email, dm’s or even handwritten letters (if you want bonus points) – whatever you’d like.

In these messages I want you to tell someone in your life one thing you appreciate about them and why. You can tell them it’s part of a challenge or you can just do it without reason.

There are a couple of points to consider:

  1. Make the message as short as possible and to the point.
  2. Make sure you think hard about what would make that other person feel good (but be honest).
  3. Don’t expect anything in return and try to be completely unattached to their response (positive, negative or neutral). The value here is in the act of giving, not what they receive, or what you get back!

That’s it.

Good luck, you’ve got this!

I’d love to hear how this goes for you, send me an email if you get a chance.

Ben

P.S. Tomorrow is the FINAL day of the challenge, and we’ll be going over how to let go of old emotionally charged memories. I’ve saved something good for last!

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